Ugly Crying


I’ve been thinking about this post for a few days now. Probably too long actually, but now I am finally ready to write it! The Blogging 101 assignment that cause me such crazy writers block was to find a prompt (which is essentially an open-ended question), make it my own, and answer it. Seems easy enough. But, when blogging in the past, what tripped me up was becoming too reliant on prompts, and writing about them, instead of writing about the things I was too lazy or scared to write about. My blog became impersonal, and I knew it wasn’t really worth reading, so I stopped writing. This time, I want my blog to be genuine, so I want to write about things that are currently inspiring to me. But, for the sake of this assignment, I took a look at some prompts.

The first prompt I found was something I was really excited about. Basically, it was to ask someone nearby (or call someone) and ask them what they were thinking about and write a post about it. What made me so excited about it is that I happened to be in the same room as my husband. I swear he is always thinking about something interesting. Whether it be related to politics, religion, current events, movies, music… He loves learning and the cogs in his brain seem to always be moving. We have some of the most amazing, deep conversations, so I thought asking him would be perfect! Here’s how that went: my husband was looking at his phone, and I asked him to tell me what he was thinking about. Basically, his answer was, “Oh, I’m thinking about this game of Trivia Crack”. Trivia Crack is a super fun app, and if you like trivia, you should play! It is not, however, the stuff that great blog posts are written about. At least ones written by me. I guess sometimes even his brain cogs need a break. He suggested that I ask him again in half an hour and swore he would be thinking about something way more interesting. I feel like that’s cheating, so I moved on to a different prompt. I will use that prompt someday though!

Then, I found this prompt, which was timely for me and something I could work with! So, here goes…

I’m sure I have always been emotional. And, when I say “emotional”, I mean I am able to recognize how I am feeling emotionally and am able to express those feelings. I can’t even be afraid to express my emotions, because I have yet to learn how to hide how I’m feeling. I have noticed, however, that I have become more emotionally expressive since I have gotten older. I have found a few trends when it comes to things that bring me to tears. I’m going to talk about the big three.

1. Quintessential Human Experiences:

Whether it be the birth of a new baby, death/loss, rites of passage, etc. I almost always become a puddle of tears. I know this seems pretty normal, but, this is even the case when I hear about or see something that I am not personally involved in or affected by. This is also the case for art that handles these same experiences. It can be a little embarrassing. When the Glee actor Cory Monteith passed away a year or so ago, I was talking to my mom about it and how weird it is as a twentysomething to have someone die that is close to my own age. As I’m having this completely rational conversation about my feelings, I suddenly began sobbing, as if I had lost a friend. I have no idea why I had such a strong reaction, especially since I hadn’t really been a fan of the show (past the first season, which is decent).

The reason this prompt was so timely, however, is because I recently experienced my best example of this: Monday morning, driving to work, I was listening to the radio. The song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie came on. It’s a stunning and beautiful song. You can hear it here. I love to sing this song. Except that I can’t sing it because I can’t sing and ugly cry at the same time. But, I always try to sing it. On this particular dsy, I almostย made it to the end. And then, full-on ugly crying. I was so glad it was still dark out. Anyone driving by me would have thought I has just gotten some horrible news. I was able to compose myself before getting to work. But, just thinking about the line: “If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied/Illuminate the ‘no’s on their vacancy signs/If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks/I’ll follow you into the dark”, makes me choke up. If I were to say I’m not even a little teary-eyed right now, I would be completely lying. Such a beautiful song, and such an embarrassing reaction.

2. The Same Shows and Movies… Time and Time Again

You know the ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLaughlin singing “I Will Remember You” over footage of sad animals in small cages? That’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t have some kind of feelings about that commercial. It used to make me cry, but now if I hear the first few notes of that song, I change the channel. I just can’t deal.

Almost all of my favorite movies and TV shows have the potential to make me cry. Sometimes the thing that makes me cry is seriously stupid. Some times it’s more understandable. I will give you the first example I thought of. My husband and I are huge fans of the show Community. It used to be on NBC, but got cancelled after Season 5. It got picked up for a 6th season with online streaming service Yahoo Screen. It doesn’t have a huge following (thus poor ratings and cancellation), but the fans it does have are… relentless. Haven’t seen it? WATCH IT. It’s on DVD and Hulu. I know being 5 seasons behind on a show may seem daunting, but I swear it’s worth it. And a couple seasons are short. So, go watch it! Anyway… the premise of the show is that a group of people form a study group at their community college, and despite seeming like they have nothing in common, they become close friends and hijinks ensue. It can be a weird show, but I love it. This past season , two actors left the show, one of them is actor/writer/rapper/comedian Donald Glover. He is super talented, and brought a lot to the show. His last episode is funny, ridiculous and emotional. He is saying goodbye to his best friend and it’s sad. So, while Donald’s character is saying goodbye to his friends before embarking on an exciting adventure, I always cry! Sob. As if saying goodbye to my own best friend.

3. Weddings

This last one something I am infamous for. Not only do I cry at every wedding I attend, I sobbed at my own, cry when looking at wedding pictures, and cry whenever there is a wedding in a tv show or movie. I doubt I will ever want to be a bridesmaid again, because the last wedding I was in, I couldn’t stop crying during the ceremony! Luckily, I didn’t make a sound. But, I know people noticed. They are just so beautiful and I was so happy for the couple. But, it does make the photographer’s job harder.

My own wedding was the worst. I was fine all day. I was happy, excited, ready to be a wife. When it came time to walk down the aisle, my soon-to-be husband waiting for me, my dad and wedding party gathered around me, the waterworks started. By then, I knew myself well enough to know it would happen, and I warned by bridesmaids, who were all armed with tissues. The crying got bad enough that my dad asked if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. I also walked down the aisle with my bouquet covering part of my face to try to hide it. Looking back on it, it’s embarrassing, but I was surrounded by people who know and love me, and as far as I know, they thought it was endearing. And after I got to my guy’s side, the tears stopped. This is us on our wedding day:

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Throwback Saturday is a thing, right?

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I don’t know if I will ever get over my tendency to cry at these things, but it is something that I am growing to embrace about myself. It’s just one of my quirks!

So, what makes you ugly cry?

14 thoughts on “Ugly Crying

  1. I completely identify with this. The weird thing is I used to be a non-crier. Like, nothing would make me cry ever. My friends thought I was some sort of freak with no tear ducts or feelings. Now I read the headline of a video that’s something like: “Soldier’s Surprise Homecoming” and I’m yelling “GET ME A TISSUE THERE IS SNOT AND TEARS AND I HAVEN’T PRESSED PLAY YET!!”

    Or that Apple commercial where the girl takes a 45 her grandma recorded and makes it a duet and gives it to her with some pictures…ugly cry, every time. This one:

    • Ohhh, I teared up before even watching that… I used to cry way less than I do now too! I’m actually glad that others can relate to this, I thought I was really weird! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. So much of what you said really resonated with me…I cried through my whole darn wedding; the wedding photos were awful because I was all blotchy. My brother always says that I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I guess it is true. Whenever I go to a wedding or funeral or movie my purse is stuffed with tissues just in case. One thing I know is that crying is very therapeutic and I generally feel much better after a good cry even when I wasn’t feeling bad to begin with.

    • I feel bad for my photographer, I feel like she REALLY had to edit my photos so I wouldn’t look like I was sobbing the whole time… I totally agree, I love how I feel after I’ve had a really good cry, which is one reason why I still enjoy the things that make me cry (except that commercial, that’s just too much!).

  3. I am so glad this post resonated with so many of my readers! I used to be so ashamed that I cry so easily, but I think it’s good to be in touch with our emotions, and can definitely be therapeutic! We had a running joke before my wedding that I should carry a box of tissues down the aisle instead of a bouquet. It ended up being true, though I chose a bouquet instead ๐Ÿ™‚

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